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Posts Tagged ‘Self Degradation’

Writer Mercenary

In Writing on January 2, 2013 at 4:45 pm

I am a writer mercenary. I write for a living. Pay me well and I will do a hatchet job on your competition. I will dish out the vilest untruths and half lies with the greatest relish. I will rip into your rival’s product and drag it through the mud – leaving reputation in tatters. If the money is not good or the other side offers more, I will switch to the other side, just like a mercenary switches sides mid battle. I will do it with no qualm in my heart. I am a writer mercenary.

Here is a secret – I never use a product before writing a review. Your product may be the best, but I don’t care. My job is to tarnish your reputation and I mean to do it well.  All I need is my imagination and some bitterness in my heart.  I can feel bile rising now. I will trash, burn and savage your competition to your heart’s content and ground your rival into the dust. But you must pay me my money. Or Else..

For a price I will write you nice reviews. Your cake is the sweetest! Your diet works magic!  Your home gym rocks! Your exercise bike is the safest! African Mango, Acacia berry – name it. And I will say it works.

Even though I have never assembled a bike, I can write manuals on assembling the most complex exercise machines in less than 30 minutes. Do you know what a “Crosman Benjamin 392 .22 Caliber Bolt Action Variable Pump Air Rifle with Hardwood Stock and forearmfeels like. I do. It feels like a Crosman Benjamin 392 .22 Caliber Bolt Action Variable Pump Air Rifle with Hardwood Stock and forearm. If you want more information, read the review.

Being a mercenary has its advantages. I can write the way I like. I am a writer mercenary after all. Writer Mercenaries are not known for their allegiance – not even to the rules of grammar. Hell with your “subject and word agreements”, “dangling modifiers” and what not’s. Commas are boring. Use your brains and put them where you please.  If you don’t like the way I write, find another mercenary.

Since I am a writer mercenary, I am not bound by rules and regulations. I am not your employee.  I work when I want. I work where I want. Sometimes I tell my client to take a hike. It feels good. It feels good to get back the control. I control the rudder to my ship. This ship sails to where it wants. Sometimes it drifts. There is great fun in drifting. Try it sometimes. But of course you must come back from your drifting. There is money to earn.

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