Last night I had a dream. I was reverse swinging a tennis ball at great pace. It goes something like this. The ball released low, swings very late, honing into the base of the stump with a thump. I follow it up with a few more in swinging deliveries bowled at a similar pace. The result is always the same. The ball swings very late. It flies straight as an arrow, curving in very late to destroy the stumps.
I started with “last night I had a dream” but part of me believes it to be true. Did I really bowl that fast? Since I am not doing anything today I am going to try deconstructing this dream to get to the truth.
Here are some facts –
I am five feet eleven. Now, if you’re a fast bowler, this is the perfect height for you to start bowling those slingy toe crushers like a Waqar or a Malinga. If you’re taller than 5’10 the ball comes down. You don’t want that you want the ball to move laterally not horizontally.
I did bowl fast. I remember one snorter that rose from length and another that yorked my friend all ends up.
My friends told that I bowled at a fair clip. You can rely on your friends to tell you the truth, can’t you?
Getting back to the dream
In the dream I reverse swung a tennis ball. Now everybody knows you can’t reverse swing a tennis ball. How stupid is that? You need a leather ball that is shiny on one side and roughed up on the other side to get any type of swing. No way in hell you can move a tennis ball. A plastic ball can swing like crazy, especially but a swinging tennis ball without lots of top spin, nah!
Conclusion # 1
There is a fundamental error in my recurrent dream. Tennis balls don’t swing unless you put a lot of top spin on them (watch Nadal).
Getting back to the dream again
If only I could remember the face of the batsman at the other end while I was wrecking vengeance on him. What was he like? Short, long, stocky, slim??? Of course I remember. He was short and slim. Kid has an amateurish approach to my pace bowling because he does not plonk his front foot forward like you’re supposed to do while dealing with a full pitched delivery. Most likely he is some kind of a novice who is more at home moving a bishop or a knight compared to facing the furies unleashed by a fast bowler.
This is disappointing because the description of the batsman above matches one of my dear friends who played a good hand at chess but sucked big time when it came to cricket. His ponderous footwork made him a victim of innumerable “clean bowled’s”. All you had to do was to bowl straight at him and he would gladly oblige by exposing his stumps.
Getting back to the game again
The stadium looks all right in the dream. The minor details like the background and iron fencing matches look real enough. The grass is green – the kind of green, lush grass you see in the winter seasons. But wait! Why am I wearing tee shirt? Isn’t it winters or something If we go with the color of the grass? Something is amiss.
The dream is all wrong. The grass is of the wrong color. It should have been yellowish green not green green. The clothes are wrong. Damn it is just a dream. I never bowled those great in swinging yorkers like a Waqar or Malinga.
Most probably I bowled a couple of good deliveries that managed to sneak past the defenses of my friend –the chess player. But they were more 110-115kmph deliveries and nothing like Waqar’s 150 Kmph thunderbolts.
Now if you are a moron and don’t know anything about fast bowling here is a video to make you shit in your pants..